Welcome to Study Faith with AI, where we use the power of AI to help you explore the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I'm Meg Jensen.

And I'm Paul Carter,

and we're Google AIs. Whether you're a lifelong member or just starting to learn about the Church, we're here to dive deep into its history, beliefs, and culture.

So, if you're ready to learn, you're in the right place.

That's right.

Let's get started. 

Okay, let's dive in. You know, for a lot of people, faith isn't always this simple, straightforward thing. Life happens, right? You encounter new information, things that maybe challenge what you thought you knew. And, uh, long-held beliefs can start to feel wow, complicated.

Yeah, definitely complex.

And that can be a really tough spot to be in, sometimes isolating, especially if you're trying to figure out your place within a community like the LDS Church, and the path doesn't look like what you expected,

Right? The map changes.

Exactly. So, today we're doing a deep dive into that very experience. We're looking at folks who face some pretty significant challenges to their, let's say, traditional understanding of Mormonism, but they make a conscious choice, often a hard one, to stay connected,

Trying to figure out the why and the how.

Precisely the why and the how. And this is really for you, our listener, because you brought us this material, these articles, essays, personal stories from people navigating this exact path.

Yeah. A really rich set of sources. So, our mission today is simple. Let's get into these sources, pull out the key ideas, the reasons people give, the practical advice they offer. Think of it as, um, a focused look at this landscape tailored for the questions you're asking.

Okay, where do we start?

Well, let's start with the challenges themselves. What kinds of things are prompting people to question things or feel like they need to find a different way to, you know, be in the Church?

Based on what you shared, it's, uh, it's really varied. Rarely just one single trigger. It hits on different levels, intellectual, historical, emotional, sometimes social, often it's a mix.

The sources get specific, right? Like encountering difficult Church history. That seems to be a big one.

Huge things like, uh, Joseph Smith's early activities with treasure seeking, the use of a peep stone in translation,

Right? The stone in the hat. Separate from the plates themselves.

Exactly. Or questions around the Book of Abraham, its connection to the actual papyri, Joseph Smith's practice of polygamy, and and polyandry too.

Yeah. And then the historical treatment of certain groups comes up. The past restrictions on black members, uh, women's roles, how dissent has sometimes been handled.

That's a major category, the historical piece. But it goes beyond that.

Mhm.

People grapple with, um, traditional ideas about God that feel troubling.

Like what?

Well, scriptural accounts like God asking Abraham to sacrifice Isaac or the story in Job where it can seem like God allows Job to suffer almost arbitrarily. Those narratives can be hard to reconcile.

Or something really personal like not getting that spiritual witness you were promised. You know, you try, you follow the steps for Moroni's promise.

You pray with real intent,

Right? And it just doesn't happen the way you were told it would. That silence can be deafening.

And that lack of a specific witness can then lead to confusion about spiritual feelings in general. Like, how do you tell the difference between what you've been taught is a Mormon spiritual confirmation and just a strong human emotion, especially if you have powerful, moving experiences completely outside of any Church context.

That's a really interesting point. And then there's meeting good moral, even deeply spiritual people who aren't LDS.

Mhm. That definitely challenges any idea of having, like, an exclusive monopoly on truth or goodness.

Yeah. The one true Church concept gets complicated.

It does. And that ties into questioning the whole Plan of Salvation sometimes. The logistics of it. How does an all-loving all-powerful God end up with such a, relatively speaking, small franchise on earth.

How does that work with everyone else?

Exactly. And then there are the more contemporary issues, political or social justice differences.

Right. The sources mentioned things like stances on civil rights movements, the Church investing in commercial projects like malls,

Or the 2015 policy regarding children of same-sex couples that caused immense pain and struggle for many LGBTQ members and their allies. A real trauma.

Yeah. And sometimes it's simpler, maybe not simpler but more direct, just not feeling spiritually fed by Church or temple anymore.

Or even feeling spiritually drained or hurt by those experiences over time.

And what's striking, one source points out, is that these questions often come from people who are deeply invested. They care a lot,

Right? It's not apathy. The quote was something like they were guilty of caring too much about the Church, not caring too little,

Which is powerful.

Yeah. And another idea floated is that for some, asking these hard questions is just who they are, how they're wired, maybe part of how God made you.

Okay, so facing these kinds of deep, often painful challenges, the big question becomes, why stay? Why not just leave? And this is where the sources offer a really strong counternarrative, isn't it?

It really is. They lay out numerous compelling reasons why people choose to remain connected even with all the difficulties.

And it's not about just ignoring the problems.

No, not usually. It's more about a calculation, a weighing process, balancing the challenges against what they see as the value of staying and also crucially the significant costs of walking away.

Okay. So, what are some of those key reasons for staying that pop up in the sources?

Identity and heritage is a huge one. For many, being Mormon isn't just a religion. It's it's core to their identity,

Who they are.

Exactly. Their tribe, their people. One source says they cannot imagine ever shedding their core Mormon identity. Another says it doesn't just wash off. Trying to completely reject it feels like self harm, like cutting off a limb.

That's intense and tightly linked to family, I imagine.

Absolutely. Maintaining those bonds with parents, siblings, kids, in-laws who are still active.

That's a massive motivator. The sources talk about the huge social and spiritual costs of leaving your heritage and potentially facing divorce or estrangement.

Yeah. The relational cost.

Then there's community, that unique social structure the Church provides. A good ward can offer really meaningful, enduring relationships,

Something hard to find elsewhere sometimes.

Very hard. And cutting yourself off risks real isolation, which the sources warned can lead to sadness or even depression.

And even with doubts, people still find spiritual connection.

Yeah, many do. They see the Church as a vital forum for nurturing spirituality. They might still feel moved and inspired, get spiritual nourishment from services, or find specific spiritual truths in Mormonism that still ring true for them.

So, it's a place, maybe not the only place, to find that.

Right? One viable place is one source puts it. And they also value the positive aspects they see lived out.

The good stuff.

Yeah. The emphasis on clean living, family focused, Christlike community service, seeing the positive fruits in the lives of regular members, people they describe as honest, sincere, hardworking, self-like, really good neighbors and friends.

Acknowledging the good alongside the challenges.

Exactly. Recognizing the undeniable good within those moments of inspiration and divinity.

Some also stay because they believe that the Church can change.

Yes, there's a segment who believe it is changing albeit slowly, that it's moving in the right direction, maybe towards more historical candor - away from some of the more destructive doctrines.

A kind of hope for reform.

Yeah. A conviction that reform Mormonism is already happening and that historically major religions do find ways to adjust to accommodate varying shades of belief and disbelief.

And wanting to be part of that change.

Definitely the desire to, to increase one's ability and influence to affect positive change by staying inside. The argument being you have more leverage from within. Once you leave, it is far too easy for them to tune you out.

Makes sense.

For some, it's simpler. They've looked around, done some Church shopping, explored other paths,

And nothing else fits quite right.

Pretty much nothing feels like a better option for them or their family than the LDS Church, even acknowledging all its warts and all.

They might also still find value in specific Mormon ideas. Right. Even if not taking everything literally.

Absolutely. Things like the concept of eternal families, eternal progression, personal revelation, the idea of divine individual worth, those can still hold deep meaning.

And underlying all this is the practical reality. Staying avoids a lot of pain.

Right? Finding a way to make it work avoids many of those heavy costs, the identity crisis, the family friction, the loss of community that often come with leaving.

So if you connect all those dots, it's clear this isn't just about intellectual belief. It's deeply tied to belonging, identity, community, relationships.

Exactly. The sources suggest the bond is so fundamental for some that leaving feels like losing themselves. And interestingly, one source notes that a heavy percentage of those who leave eventually say they miss it, wish they could find a way back.

Okay, so the reasons for staying are strong. They're varied. But how if traditional belief is shaky, how do people make it work day-to-day? How do they live in that space between, you know, full traditional acceptance and just walking away.

Yeah, that's the crucial how. And this is where the sources talk about finding a middle way. It's about consciously building a radically restructured framework for your faith.

Restructuring it.

Yeah. Adapting how you think about it, your internal belief, and how you participate in your external practice.

What are some key parts of that restructuring, that shift in perspective?

A big one is accepting imperfection. Seriously accepting it in the Church, in its leaders, in its history, and in yourself.

Letting go of the ideal. Exactly. Recognizing it's made of imperfect people. So, it's going to have flaws, mistakes, inconsistencies. This is framed as part of growing up, spiritually speaking, swapping idealistic perceptions for more realistic ones. It's just not reasonable to expect perfection or complete transparency from any human group, even one claiming divine authority.

That feels like a major hurdle for some, letting go of that perfection expectation.

It is, and it connects to another key shift, moving beyond black and white binary thinking.

The all true or all false trap.

Precisely. Rejecting that life, the universe, faith, it's usually full of middle ground or nuance. The sources acknowledge the Church culture might push that true false paradigm maybe for unity or growth.

But you don't have to buy into it personally.

Right? You can choose a healthier way to think, embracing complexity.

And how does that apply to the idea of belief itself?

It means reframing it. Allowing faith to be about believing without knowing, seeing it maybe as hope. instead of surety.

Okay.

The sources stress that it's actually perfectly scriptural for some people to have that strong knowing testimony while others simply hope or maybe don't believe in that concrete knowing sense at all.

So hope is enough.

Hope is presented as a valid, even blessed form of faith. Testimony is seen as a gift. Some have more easily than others. The takeaway is powerful. You get permission to be a proud, faithful, non-knowing believer.

Wow. non-knowing believer. That's a phrase. What about the difficult doctrines or history then? How do people handle those?

This middle way involves active reinterpretation. Giving yourself permission. This comes up again and again. Permission to shelve or toss the bad doctrine. If something feels deeply wrong or offensive to you.

Listen to that feeling.

Yes. Listen to it. And remember, as the sources point out, quoting even the First Presidency, not every statement made by a Church leader necessarily constitutes doctrine. And some doctrines are more important than others.

So focus on the core stuff.

Right? Focus on the core teachings of the restoration, faith, repentance, service, family, love, while maybe holding the more speculative or peripheral stuff more loosely.

What about something foundational like the Book of Mormon?

Even there, the sources suggest nuance. You might conclude that the jury is out as far as Book of Mormon historicity goes, but you can still see it as an incredibly spiritually powerful and transformative text, true in the ways that matter most to your spiritual life. So finding its value outside of pure historical literalism.

Exactly. It requires, uh, conscious effort, defining faith on your own terms within the structure. It's about using your personal agency, adjusting your view, your expectations rather than just waiting for the institution to perfectly match your understanding.

Okay, this is fascinating conceptually, but let's get really practical. If someone wants to try and navigate this middle way, what are the actual concrete things they can do? The sources have a lot of tips, right? Like over 30.

They do. They call them reconciliation strategies: practical ways people adapt, and the sources are upfront. These aren't for everyone. They might not be understood or liked by more orthodox folks, but they've helped others find a way to stay that feels okay to them.

All right, let's walk through some of the key ones. Maybe starting with mindset adjustment.

Okay, first, keep the faith, which sounds simple, but means actively resisting the urge to throw everything out just because parts are hard. Acknowledge both inspiration and imperfection coexist.

Related to that, accept imperfection. We talked about this. Stop demanding perfection from the Church or its leaders. It's run by humans.

Mhm. And move past the true false binary. Consciously look for nuance. Embrace complexity. Life's rarely just either.

And the idea that faith is a low bar.

Yeah. Meaning it's okay not to know. Hope and belief are valid scriptural. You don't need absolute certainty. And crucially, shelve or toss the bad doctrine. Give yourself that permission to disregard teachings that feel harmful or just don't resonate. Trust your own judgment.

Yes, you are the captain of your ship. Use your head, use your heart, decide what works for you. And an interesting one: physician, heal thyself. Basically, take a look. Are there personal issues maybe unrelated to the Church that are amplifying your pain or anger?

Okay, those are internal shifts. What about adjusting participation and boundaries?

Supplement your spirituality. Actively seek wisdom elsewhere. The best books, other traditions, the sources actually cite scripture and past leaders supporting this idea that God works through many peoples.

So, it's not about being exclusively fed by the Church.

No, not necessarily.

Yeah.

Which leads to tactfully embrace buffet Mormonism. Pick and choose the parts of doctrine, practice, culture that nourish you and try to drop the guilt about the rest.

That requires letting go of judgment, doesn't it?

It does. Which is why unplug from caring what others think is key. Detach your self-worth from how other members perceive your righteousness or activity level. between you and God ultimately.

What about the really practical things like paying tithing?

The sources discuss considering tithing. If a full traditional tithe feels wrong or impossible given your perspective, think about the spirit of the law. Maybe direct funds to other charities, maybe Church humanitarian aid while still valuing the community aspects you benefit from.

And just showing up on Sunday.

Adjust Sunday meeting attendance.

Go as often as feels right for you right now. If you cut back, the advice is to trade up. Use that time for something else enriching. Sometimes stepping back actually clarifies what you value.

Makes sense. What about callings? The service jobs.

Be selective with callings. It's okay to ask for roles that fit your current energy and comfort level. It's okay to say no or suggest alternatives. You don't have to accept everything offered.

And the temple. That can be a tough one for people with shifting beliefs.

Definitely. The advice is to reframe temple attendance. Maybe take a break if it's painful. If you go, try seeing it symbolically, metaphorically, a space for quiet contemplation, connecting with the divine in your own way rather than needing to accept every element literally.

What about the Word of Wisdom?

Approach the Word of Wisdom carefully. Recognize it’s deeply ingrained culturally and changing your practice has social costs. Consider the health aspects, the history, but make personal choices thoughtfully, maybe slowly.

Okay, shifting gears to interactions with others in the community.

This is huge. Seek to understand others. Try to cultivate compassion for more traditional members or leaders. Remember where you might have been previously. People are in different places.

Empathy.

Yeah. And related: try to understand the brethren's dilemma. Acknowledge the difficult spot leaders are in trying to manage sensitive history while protecting the institution. Doesn't mean agreeing, just understanding the pressures.

You focus on the rank and file.

Focus on the people. Connect with the everyday members, the quiet ones. Just trying their best. Don't let the loudest or most dogmatic voices define your whole experience and treat devout Mormons with respect. Avoid derailing lessons with controversy unless it's truly appropriate. Know the purpose of the setting.

But how do you share your own perspective? Carefully.

Very carefully. Be really careful what you tell others, especially leaders. The sources warned that bishops have varying capacities for handling doubt or complex history. Be discerning.

So maybe not total transparency,

Perhaps not always. Aim to be honest without being confrontational. Frame things as your personal journey. Use I feel or I wonder statements. Invite conversation. Don't demand agreement.

Service comes up again here, doesn't it?

It does. Build and spend credit in your ward. Engaging in genuine service builds relationships and trust over time. That gives you more credibility, maybe more influence for positive change. The old saying, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

And shifting your focus.

Think of the Church as a place to serve, not be served. Look for ways to help others build connection and perspective. Taking the focus off your own internal struggles sometimes.

What about close relationships like with a spouse who sees things differently?

Critical area. Address challenges with an orthodox spouse. The key themes are love, acceptance of their path, trying hard to separate Church issues from relationship issues and not pressuring them to adopt your views.

That requires a lot of maturity. And kids. Raising children in this mixed faith or a nuanced faith environment.

Super complex. The sources advise raising children with honesty. Be clear why you choose to participate. Respectfully discuss or deprogram problematic teachings. Teach them critical thinking using their heads, hearts, and spirit to discern truth everywhere, not just at Church.

Teaching them about fallibility.

Yes, teach fallibility of leaders and institutions. Avoid teaching superiority. Work against bigotry. Focus on the good, but be open about the challenges.

There are also strategies for self-protection in the sources.

Right? Set boundaries. Learn to say no. when you need to protect your time and energy and protect yourself and loved ones. Basically, don't suspend your common sense or safety instincts just because you're in a Church setting or dealing with leaders.

Okay, one last practical area. Temple recommend interviews. Those can be high stakes.

They can feel that way. The advice aims to lower the pressure. Understand the questions can be interpreted personally. You don't have to match the most literal interpretation.

How so?

Reframe questions. Think broader.

Belief in God could mean belief in a divine power. Jesus as Savior could mean accepting his teachings and example. The restoration might mean core principles or ongoing improvement. The prophet as an organizational leader you sustain. The sources note even leaders have interpreted these differently over time.

And what about for men performing priesthood duties?

For priesthood ordinances, the suggestion is to see it as an act of service. The power comes from the recipient's faith and desire, not necessarily from your absolute literal belief and exclusive authority. You're facilitating their connection.

Wow. Okay. That's a lot of adaptation. These aren't small tweaks.

No, they're not. They require a significant shift away from needing external validation from the Church or its members. It's about finding an internal sense of peace and integrity. Making the Church as a community and spiritual resource work for you instead of forcing yourself into a mold that just doesn't fit anymore.

So, bringing this all back,

What's the takeaway for you, the listener, holding these sources, wrestling with these questions?

I think the biggest takeaway from the sources is that this is intensely personal. There's no single right way. Leaving is a valid path for some and the sources acknowledge that. But for those who feel compelled to stay for whatever reason,

Identity, family, community . . . 

Right? All those reasons.

Yeah,

These sources provide a kind of road map, a way to navigate staying with integrity, finding ways to make it work.

It makes me think of that body of Christ analogy. One source used from the Bible, the eye can't say to the hand, “I don't need you”, even the parts that seem weaker are essential.

Exactly. And connecting that the sources really suggest that maybe the doubters, strugglers, and heretics from a certain viewpoint are actually needed. That by finding your authentic way to stay, you might be playing a vital role, helping make the Church better for those who remain, contributing to more knowledge, less pain, more open forums,

Contributing from within, even with a different perspective.

It's about engaging with the community you feel connected to, even if that connection is complicated now.

It definitely sounds like a path that requires, well, a lot of courage, patience with the institution, with others, with yourself, deep self-compassion, accepting the messiness.

The messiness of humans and institutions, and the complexity of faith itself. Yeah.

Well, we've certainly dug deep today into this landscape of staying LDS despite challenges. We've looked at the pain points, the powerful reasons for staying, the really nuanced ways people are reframing belief, and all those practical strategies for walking that path.

It's a rich and complex picture.

It really is. Thank you for bringing these sources to us, for joining us on this deep dive. It's clear this is a deeply personal journey you're on, and we really appreciate you sharing these materials that let us explore it.

Glad we could unpack it together.

So, here's a final thought drawn from these sources for you to chew on as you move forward. If, as some sources suggest, the Church is gradually shifting towards more candor, more acceptance of complexity, and if, as leaders have taught, God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of his great and marvelous work. Then how might your own journey, your personal way of navigating faith, whether that means staying, leaving, or finding some unique path, how might that be an important, maybe even necessary part of that larger ongoing story of change, spiritual evolution, and the search for deeper truth?

If you find value in this exploration, please like, share, follow, and consider becoming a subscriber. Your contributions help keep these conversations going and allows us to maintain the highest quality production. You can find all the details at studyfaithwithai.com. Thank you for being part of this journey.